Monthly Member Meeting | Recognizing The Abuser’s Playbook – A Guide for Divorce Professionals

High-conflict spouses aren’t just “difficult. ” Many use a calculated playbook of manipulation, coercive control, and legal system abuse to maintain power long after separation. In this eye-opening session, divorce coach and journalist Amy Polacko, co-author of FRAMED: Women in the Family Court Underworld, exposes the hidden tactics abusers use to discredit, exhaust, and financially drain their partners. Drawing on both research and real-world coaching experience, Amy equips professionals with the tools to spot these red flags early and respond effectively—protecting clients and safeguarding the integrity of the process. This presentation goes beyond the surface of “high-conflict divorce” to help professionals recognize patterns of coercive control that are often missed in courtrooms, mediation rooms and even therapeutic settings. Attendees will walk away with a deeper understanding of how to support survivors, avoid professional blind spots, and prevent being used as unwitting pawns in the abuser’s game.

Key Takeaways:

• How coercive control manifests in divorce and custody cases
• The most common tactics from “The Abuser’s Playbook” (gaslighting, DARVO, legal abuse, financial sabotage, using children as pawns)
• Professional blind spots that allow abusers to manipulate the system
• Practical strategies for protecting and supporting survivors in family court and beyond
• Why reframing “high-conflict divorce” is critical to helping victims get justice

Speaker Bio: 

Amy Polacko is a Freedom Warrior — a divorce coach, journalist and survivor who turned personal trauma into a mission to help women reclaim their power. A former investigative TV reporter, Amy has exposed corruption, chased down criminals and earned prestigious honors like the Edward R. Murrow and Associated Press Awards. She was part of the Pulitzer Prize-winning team that covered the TWA Flight 800 crash.

But it was surviving a narcissistic relationship — and navigating a broken system — that ignited her real calling.

Now an award-winning writer and sought-after divorce coach, Amy empowers women to become the CEO of their own divorce. She’s coached hundreds through toxic relationships and writes for national outlets on coercive control, domestic abuse, singlehood and family court. Her bylines appear in HuffPost, The Washington Post, The NY Daily News, Newsweek, NBC News THINK, The Independent, New York Observer, and Ms. magazine.

Amy also co-authored the groundbreaking book FRAMED: Women in the Family Court Underworld — an unflinching exposé of the gender bias women face in our courts.

A dynamic public speaker and seasoned interviewer, Amy brings both fire and empathy to her work. You can find her here:

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